26 Mar 2008
For as far back as I can remember (which may not be very long in real time) I have been getting e-mails from eHarmony.com. I do not mind getting e-mails because that is what the Internet is all about. If I happen to get an e-mail I do not like I simply press "delete" and presto it is gone.
Some e-mail senders are more persistent than others are. After a while, it crosses that invisible line called "being-downright-pesky." Such has been the case most recently for Yours Truly from eHarmony.com.
I just have one question. Does eHarmony.com know something about me that I do not know?
I have discovered throughout my journey in life that a man who is absolutely sure of himself has never been married. Every husband knows that just as soon as he has figured out every aspect of his relationship to his wife, she changes. The only absolute rule in marriage is that there are no absolute rules in marriage.
This sudden barrage of e-mails from eHarmony.com has caused me to bring into question this whole idea of my relationship with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Just exactly where do I stand with her besides in "the corner until I have thought it over?"
According to these e-mails from eHarmony.com, they can help me find the "love of my life." All I have to do is fill out a registration form and they will do the rest. Of course, I think somewhere in there is some exchange of money, but it is not up front. I just hope they do not charge by the pound.
This has brought me under a cloud of confusion because for the past 37 years come this August, I was living under the belief that I had in fact found the love of my life. If the person living under my roof is not the “love of my life,” why in the world has she been making my breakfast the way I like it all these years?
According to this "Matchmaker" company, they can take all of the worry out of finding the "love of your life."
The thing I worry about is that they claim by answering their questions it will help them understand me and by that they will know the perfect "love of my life." It takes all the guesswork out of romance. It is romance by electronic wizardry. I have been answering questions from my wife for years and she still does not know me.
Doesn't anybody believe in old-fashioned romance anymore?
I have given this quite a bit of thought and the thing that really scares me is that they promise to find someone to match my personality. I cannot think of anything more frightening all over the world. Alfred Hitchcock could not conjure up such deviltry. Who do they think they are believing that I want someone to be the “love of my life” just like me? Why don't I just marry myself and save the registration fee to eHarmony.com?
Of course, I know there selling point is that if you are too busy to find someone to develop a relationship with, they can help you out. They make it easy to find someone for you. I believe if you are too busy to find time to develop a relationship with someone... you are just too busy and should probably not think of marriage. Get a pet.
I believe romance is based upon a developing relationship, which is not amenable to some kind of programmable solution. I think there should be freelance romance. Of course, real romance is far from being free. It will cost you the rest of your life.
One of the important aspects of a lasting romance is not knowing everything about the other person. Romance is a lifetime adventure of discovering things about each other that you did not know before. Now, if someone takes all of this mystery out of romance what is left?
Every husband needs this element of mystery. If the "love of his life" knew everything about him is very unlikely that she would become the "love of his life." Some things are better left to mystery.
Everybody who has ever found the "love of his life" realizes that the key element of romance is change. Believe me, politicians did not coin the word "change," they just cash in on it every chance they get. The wonderful thing about change within the context of romance is not knowing the end result.
I do not want some cold computer program to find the "love of my life." The way my luck runs if I ever went that route the computer would have a glitch and recommend the "love of my life" to be some half crazed grizzly bear in the north Canadian territory.
The wonderful thing about romance is that when you do find the "love of your life," you can grow together. And this growth is an adventure of a lifetime. I believe this is what the Bible means when it says, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24 KJV). In
Happy is the person who truly finds the "love of their life."
"Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." (Proverbs 18:22 KJV).
I'm proud to say that all on my own, without any help from eHarmony.com, I have found the "love of my life."
Rev. James L. snyder